“Love” Sucks (Yet I Managed to Watch 270 Minutes Of It In Less Than 24 Hrs)

This article is primarily addressed to women, so I’m going to start off with a question for all you ladies out there: Are you drop-dead gorgeous?

netflix love paul rust pic

(Mickey is played by Gillian Jacobs (left) and Gus is played by Paul Rust (right))

OK. Well, if you answered no to that question, then I want to let you know I’m with you. I think I’m beautiful, and I love myself, but I am no beauty queen and I don’t get attention from men in any noticeable way during my daily life. I am also not friends with guys, and subsequently, I have no platonic friends who are also male admirers (that I know of). Therefore, I was sadly very disappointed by the representation of women in Netflix’s new series produced and created by the highly-successful Judd Apatow (director of 40 Year-Old Virgin, Knocked Up, This Is 40, and producer of HBO’s Girls), and real-life married couple Lesley Arfin and Paul Rust (who’s Gus on “Love”).

Due to the female characters on Girls, which I think are relatable (maybe because I’m a 32 year-old, privileged, educated white female who lives a trendy, comfortable lifestyle in Vancouver, BC), I thought this TV series might be another example of a television show that would make me feel better about myself, and that would make me laugh at all of the crazy things people do. Well, sadly I was wrong.

“Love” perpetuates the idea that a woman can be a cruel, insensitive, and ignorant person who doesn’t hesitate to use her friends as tools, and she’ll still end up with the sweet, loyal, kind geeky guy, or find love, in the end all because she’s such a rebel (aka HOT) and complicated (aka HOT) and trying to change (aka HOT).

netflix love pic 2 car

Since most of us are not perfect physical specimens this narrative is quite troubling. Mickey is one of the two protagonists on the series “Love”. Mickey is played by the insanely sexy-looking (my opinion of course) actress Gillian Jacobs. I loved how Gillian Jacobs played the character of Mimi Rose on “Girls”. After Hannah (played by Lena Dunham) and Adam (played by Adam Driver) break-up, Adam rebounds with the beautiful, talented, and successful artist Mimi Rose.

Hannah is understandably threatened and jealous of Mimi Rose, and I related to that since I have felt jealous of my boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend because I think she is really attractive, skinny, and from what I’ve observed of her online image, she is free of flaws. Of course, I know that’s not the truth, since everyone has flaws, but the storyline with Mimi Rose was one I connected with. Image is not reality, but it’s sometimes so hard to realize you don’t know the truth about people from an online profile. In the end, Adam finds out that Mimi Rose had an abortion and didn’t tell him, and he’s hurt and feels like he can’t trust Mimi Rose.

love netflix fast food red

Jacobs ability to portray Mimi Rose in a way that made me feel like Mimi Rose is a real person led me to incorrectly assume that I would relate to Jacobs on “Love”. Gillian Jacobs portrayal of Mickey got under my skin pretty quickly, maybe in part because I’m the opposite from a girl who always says dude, just chill man, and lies whenever it suits her fancy. My honesty has gotten me into trouble many times before, so I know I have extra resentment when I see people and characters who lie and pretend like it’s no big deal.

Spoiler alert: I’m going to start getting into more specific plot details from here on in, so if you want to watch the series with fresh eyes, I suggest you stop reading. For example, Mickey is a self-identified alcoholic and drug addict (marijuana and ecstasy were the drugs she uses over the course of the series), and after bingeing on vodka one weekend she goes to an AA meeting and lies about how long she’s been sober for. I am an alcoholic and I haven’t drank alcohol for over 7 years now, and I’ve been to AA before. It’s such a personal thing to attend an AA meeting, and I felt vulnerable sharing my experiences at the meetings I went to, so it’s kind of disgusting someone would lie in that kind of a situation.

I know I need to be more compassionate for people who are different from me though, and while it’s hard to understand compulsive lying, I can also see that if you’re ashamed of what you’re doing, then there’s a chance you’ll lie to conceal what you’re embarrassed about. Another night Mickey blows off plans with Gus to “be alone”. Then she ends up going out with a bunch of people partying, doing ecstasy with a guy played by Andy Dick and staying up all night, and by the time morning rolls around Mickey calls Gus and he’s right there ready and waiting to make plans with her for later in the day.

Paul Rust, Lesley Arfin, Judd Apatow

Paul Rust and Creators/Writers/Executive Producers Lesley Arfin and Judd Apatow seen at the Los Angeles premiere of the Netflix original series ‘Love’ at The Vista Theatre on Thursday, Feb. 11, 2016, in Los Angeles, CA. (Photo by Eric Charbonneau/Invision for Netflix/AP Images)

Part of my anger towards a character like Mickey comes from my own experiences where I’ve chosen to have a sexual relationship with men who make it clear they’re not really all that into me, and that they’re not monogamous. Then I’ve subjected myself to listening to them go on about how hot the girl they wish they could be with is, or I’ve been ditched as soon as one of these femme fatales (how I judgmentally chose to see them) want some male attention. I’ve never been in the position of the girl who has all these guys chasing after her. There have been a few times when I’ve had casual sexual relationships with men who I didn’t find very attractive, but I would quickly cut things off entirely in these situations, because I don’t like stringing people along. Yep, you’re sensing that I have a superiority complex, and that’s probably annoying, but I’m letting you know how I think whether it’s right or not.

I told a guy who I wasn’t into that I didn’t think we could be friends, because if we were to go out to a bar together and I found someone attractive, I would feel bad for ditching him. He said he wouldn’t care, but I thought he would and I didn’t want to cause him unnecessary pain. I think that sometimes it’s wise to ignore what people say and go with your gut. If a guy wants to have sex with you, spend time with you, and you tell him you’re not into him, then it’s also realistic to assume he might feel frustrated or crappy if you attempt to have a platonic relationship with him. Awkward situations can be minimized or avoided if you’re willing to sacrifice the attention that comes having lots of guy or girl friends (who also might secretly or not-so-secretly be into you).

Gus meets Mickey when she’s in a convenience store, and she doesn’t have any money to pay for the coffee she just poured. Mickey starts verbally harassing the Asian clerk (and this is the first of three time total where Mickey feels the need to treat Asian people with accents like crap by yelling at them) and Gus steps in to save the day. He offers to pay for her coffee, and instead of appreciating that, she asks for him to buy her a pack of cigarettes too. Gus is an average–or maybe below average (I think he’s hot, but he’s definitely not traditionally good-looking)–guy, and since he’s immediately intrigued by Mickey (I guess beauty is hard to ignore) he gladly pays for both.

netflix love fight scene

Outside of the store Mickey tells Gus she can pay him back, and then proceeds to insult him when he says she doesn’t need to pay him back. From what I saw, Mickey’s sense of entitlement makes her really annoying and rude. Nevertheless, Gus is still into her after this short interaction and their “friendship” starts to unfold. At least the television show stays true to real-life by showing that Gus is always openly aware that he’s attracted to Mickey because of how hot she is, and doesn’t lie and tell himself he only wants to be her friend.

netflix love claudia odoherty

(Mickey’s roommate Bertie (Claudia O’Doherty)…I want to see more of this funny actress!)

Mickey gets an Australian roommate named Bertie (played by Claudia O’Doherty) to move into her place. Bertie is my favourite character from the series. Bertie is also a sexy young white female, but not quite as model-like as Mickey, and therefore much more relatable. Early on in the series Mickey sets-up Gus and Bertie on a date. Since Gus and Bertie aren’t meant for each other, the date starts to go badly. Bertie goes to the bathroom and accidentally texts Gus a message intended for Mickey about their terrible date. Gus texts Mickey the text he receives from Bertie (originally meant for Mickey) and then Mickey texts Bertie the text Gus sent (are you following me?).

A cat-and-mouse game ensues where Mickey plays both of her friends in order to entertain herself. It’s the first night that Mickey is trying to be genuinely sober and spend time at home alone without any male attention, so she devolves into screwing over Gus and Bertie, even though Mickey’s the one who set them up on this date in the first place. Gus drops Bertie off after their horrendous date, and when he leaves Mickey and Bertie’s place, Mickey runs out and kisses Gus. He’s suddenly attractive after letting Mickey know her antics are not okay.

Also, this is supposed to be a comedy! Do you think this stuff sounds funny? I didn’t think it’s funny at all. Want something funny to watch? I watched all 3 seasons of the Showtime series “Episodes” starring Matt LeBlanc this past week. “Episodes” actually made me laugh. The entertainment I got from watching “Love” came from how easy it was to criticize the characters of Mickey and Gus.

love netflix driving scene

When I started watching “Love” last night I had 2 female friends over, and they both started asking why Mickey’s dressed like a 70s porn star and wearing next-to-nothing. So true! During the first episode Mickey is super scantily clad in a red one-piece (bathing suit?) and her nipples are very erect and apparent through her spandex top throughout most of the scenes. It’s distracting! Yes, women and men shouldn’t have to suppress or hide their sexuality since it is a part of human nature, but I think that this crosses the line to the point where Mickey is her nips, and not much more.

Based on what I have seen in my own life, I think it’s undeniable that physically attractive people are given certain privileges that other people are not. I have watched hot people speak and behave in ways that I can’t imagine less attractive people trying to pull-off. I think the reason why some beautiful folks are extra self-centred behaviour is because they can get away with it. Lots of not as hot people let very hot people do whatever they want all because us normal peeps hope the freakishly hot people might want to have sex with us.

The part that I think “Love” overlooks is that while a beautiful girl like Mickey will never be alone, people that are huge users like Mickey probably don’t end up with genuine, sweet, and loyal people. If you’re a conniving, manipulative person who puts your own needs above others at all times and lies to get what you want, then I think the people who will want to be around you in a permanent way aren’t going to be all that great. People who love themselves and respect themselves eventually walk away from the Mickey’s of the world (or so I hope).

I did a little more research and I found out something interesting that surprised me: co-creators Lesley Arfin and Paul Rust are married, and they apparently used their own relationship as a loose model for the series. This detail made me like the series a little more, and feel a little bit less offended by the sexism on the show. Is that weird?

6 comments

  1. Dude mickey wears flannel shirts and overalls, she hunches, swears, looks confused, scowls and is basically a victim of her own beauty as men use her for sex and lose interest when she connects. You didnt “get” this show at all..she is incredibly vulnerable to Gus’s opinion of her as he is the only guy not to treat her like a sexual vending machine.
    Then he goes cold on her and she freaks out. She is so ..confused. how can you not love her? If she was more “relatable” (read plain) youd probably be writing an empathetic post about how ordinary girls get treated like shit by men and the world… Look at hannah from Girls. Perfect example. If she looked like a model we would all hate her.

    1. No. Just no. Mickey was a brat with him throughout their entire relationship. She was a bitch on their first date and when she went to bed with him she got herself off (very awkwardly) while he was just there, excluding him from the intimacy. If a guy got himself off while cutting the girl away from the intimacy everyone would be calling him an ass.
      While Gus is not perfect, Mickey is a selfish person who does what she wants regardless of what happens to those around her. She is far from “confused”, she’s just not getting what she wants.

    2. Thank you Sam, I completely agree! This post came off as incredibly self-righteous. (70s porn star? Really??) I guess everything is Mickey’s fault because she’s somewhat pretty (a lot of people I know think she’s kind of plain so I don’t know where the author is getting that she’s model gorgeous all the time and I get the sense that style-wise, she just throws something on which is super cool to me) but I don’t understand how it was missed how Gus was super manipulative. He played the nice guy part perfectly, choosing her dress for the date (not necessarily bad but it was the way he did it, like in his mind she usually looks too sloppy or something) taking her to the magic castle after she said she wasn’t into it and then shaming her because she wasn’t into it? Not to mention they slept together twice and then IMMEDIATELY he moved on to the actress all the while NONE of this is his fault, because Mickey is just *so* terrible apparently.

      Neither of them are great people but Gus’ fake nice guy act really disgusted me.

  2. I’m almost done with the second season, and Gus and Mickey frustrate me. Gus because he’s a self-centered, self-hating asshole who desperately wants everybody to like him, and Mickey because she’s very avoidant and dodges responsibility for her actions. Yet I never regret watching it. My personal take on it is that it’s not meant to represent perfect relationships. It’s meant to represent the parts of relationships that get left out of most hollywood representations. This includes the small sweet moments that people in relationships take for granted, but also the shitty moments people like to forget. Many people end up in relationships very similar to the relationships on the show. I know because I’ve seen many of them. I’ve known Mickeys, Berties, Guses, Randys, pretty much all of them. So I find the characters and what they go through very relatable (if completely frustrating at times). It probably helps that a couple of the actors (including Gillian Jacobs to a friggin uncanny valley degree) are straight up dopplegangers for friends of mine.

    The OP may not like the characters or their decisions, but that doesn’t make people who make their decisions not exist. I’ve had plenty of personal experience with friends, family, and acquaintances who struggle with addiction, alcoholism, codependence, borderline personality disorder, depressionand trust issues – all of which are represented in the show. I thus find it very healthy to watch these behaviors played out on the show, as it gives a sense of perspective on behaviors that you don’t realize are super unhealthy when they’re carried out by people you know.

    Too often in media representations of relationships, there are good people you root for and bad people you boo. I find this show refreshing because it reflects the reality that your perception of who someone is as a person and how you perceive they treat you can often be very disconnected from their actual behaviors. People stay in bad relationships like Mickey and Gus’s because they rationalize problems caused by their partner as being their own fault, don’t take responsibility for their own problems, don’t communicate effectively, and often get convinced by other people that they’re overreacting to problems that exist.

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