daily hive van

Tristan and Khloe: My Theories on Cheaters

This is what I think: Any man who believes that there are only SOME types of women worth treating well is going to end up treating the woman he loves the MOST the WORST. It’s a catch 22 in my opinion. 

I feel the need to say that Khloe Kardashian in no way deserved to be cheated on. Nobody deserves to be cheated on, especially when they’re pregnant. But I don’t think the public’s interest in and focus on this cheating scandal is all coming from a malicious and cruel place. I think people are connecting to this story for a few reasons: 1) there are lots of Khloe fans out there because she’s hilarious and straight-up and many beautiful things and 2) some of us have been played by people in our own lives and so this cheating scandal stirs up painful past emotions.

EXCLUSIVE: Khloe Kardashian and Tristan Thompson hold hands after dinner at Zuma in Miami

Still, my hope is that it is possible for us outsiders observing this story to learn something positive that will help improve our own lives as a result of theorizing about the cheating scandal going on with Khloe Kardashian and Tristan Thompson. Yep, in layman’s terms, talking about this shit is like self-help (if you want it to be…but it’s also a form of entertainment, too).

I think analyzing this Khloe/Tristan situation can help increase the chances someone will get out of excruciatingly painful situations or stop repeating personal patterns. In the past when I’ve had low confidence and I’ve seen public figures (i.e. Halle Berry) who I think are very desirable get cheated on, or betrayed by their partners in some way, it’s shaken up my idea of how the universe works. As a by-product it helped improve my confidence because I couldn’t ignore the possibility that the reason a guy doesn’t want me might be due to something other than because I’m ugly (I now see that I’m not ugly, I’m beautiful…at least I feel that way a lot of the time). Rejection by a guy was always something I blamed on my own shortcomings.

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When I was younger, I kind of thought being hot would prevent someone from being cheated on. Through seeing public stories of betrayal, like when Halle Berry’s husband cheated on her and publicly admitted to doing so, started to teach me, little by little, something new: cheaters, abusers, etc. treat people bad due to how they feel about themselves, never because someone is ugly or dumb or somehow deserving of poor treatment.

Nobody deserves poor treatment. I have to remind myself of this because I’ve put up with a lot of emotional abuse due to an underlying fear that I can’t do any better or because I’m not worthy of being treated well.  Cheating is about more than how a woman looks. Also, men can control themselves and their dicks.

If talking about the Khloe/Tristan scandal stops one person from going through the same thing, then I think that discussing painful situations—such as when your baby daddy sticks his dick in someone else right before you’re about to pop…assuming that’s how far Tristan Thompson took his cheating—is worth it. (Just so y’all know in case ya don’t: There’s currently no actual physical proof he fucked someone else–make-outs, crotch grabbing and motorboating are the only acts we know happened for sure—unless the security video of Tristan and two lovelies in da club is a fake and it’s the ILLUMINATI trying to play with our minds (kidding, I’m seriously not an Illuminati believer AT ALL)).

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This is what I’m thinking after seeing the latest celeb cheating scandal:

IF HE IS TELLING YOU ABOUT ALL THE BITCHES HE TREATED POORLY IN THE PAST, YOU CAN GUARANTEE YOU’RE GOING TO BE ADDED TO THAT BITCH LIST ONE DAY:

I dated a man once who told me he cheated on his pregnant wife a few times–his daughter was 10 or 11 when he was telling me this–and in case you’re wondering, he was still married at the time I was dating him, but he lived separately from his wife. Nevertheless, I felt their need to co-parent was a guise for their continuing co-dependency–like for example even though he had sex with lots of other women he said that his wife hadn’t been with anyone since they’d broken up, which made me think they were still together and/or he was continuing to lead her on by staying married to her. So even though I’m saying I don’t think I’d date a man who has another woman pregnant, I have dated a guy who was still married–regardless of what the actual state of their relationship was at the time, which, since I could never trust what he said anyways, I’ll never really know–I’ve dated some people I should have run from IMMEDIATELY and didn’t due to low self confidence.

While I continued to date the guy after he told me he was still legally married to his wife and that he’d drop by his wife’s place (where his daughter lived) whenever he felt like (another red flag that made me think they were likely still together) when he told me that he CHEATED ON HIS WIFE A FEW TIMES WHILE SHE WAS PREGNANT WITH THEIR DAUGHTER a part of me started to hate him, even though I still found him sexually attractive, more than I already did (for a variety of other reasons such as how he’d treat me).

I felt sick to my stomach because it was a sign that this man would NEVER be good to me. At least that’s how I interpreted his confession that he’d cheated on his pregnant wife. Anyone capable of hurting the person they’re supposed to be committed to loving the most is definitely fucked-up to the point that they’ll hurt anyone who gets close (unless they go intense therapy and experience a massive shift in thinking). While I’ve dated some douche bags there is one thing I’ve alway kept in the back of my mind, even though I tried to push it out of my mind I couldn’t entirely forget when I was with these men that they were going to hurt me badly if I continued to spend time with them. And they did. It wasn’t a risk worth taking because of the emotional trauma I’ve experience from it. I wish I had walked away instead of stepped closer to people who made me feel ugly, unattractive, unlovable, and worthless. When these men talked shit about other women they’d been with I knew in my heart that they’d treat me just as bad as their past partners.

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The scary thing about someone who cheats like Tristan Thompson is that the chances of the video/photo proof of his cheating being ALL of the cheating are slim to none. He is brazen and openly cheating on his very famous, very pregnant girlfriend in public and he’s famous too. Did ya think no one would see, Tristan? I think that when someone is that open to other women that it’s not suddenly shut off except for the odd slip-up.

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Tristan’s Mom (wonder what she’s thinking right now), Tristan, Kris, Khloe

CAN A NON-CHEATER/NON-PLAYER START DATING A NEW WOMAN WHILE HE HAS ANOTHER WOMAN IMPREGNATED? IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK A MAN TO STAY ABSTINENT IF HE HAS ANOTHER WOMAN PREGNANT? Give it a rest, man!

If it is true that Khloe started dating Tristan when his ex was pregnant with his child than that’s not very cool. I should never say never, and I’ll have to admit I’m an idiot if the universe tosses a curve ball my way and I end up dating a guy who’s already got another woman pregnant at the time BUT, until then, I’m gonna say that it’s not hot when a guy already has another girl pregnant. Even if she got pregnant from a one night stand and they were never even in a relationship, I think the guy should give his dick a break while she’s pregnant. Don’t know why I feel so judgmental about this, but I feel like 99% of men who have someone else pregnant already and are entering into a new relationship before the women pregnant with his child have even given birth is probably a hard-core player: one who’s always looking for the next best thing.

I think Tristan probably went out of his way to an extreme degree to convince Khloe that his relationship with her was somehow different and that he was faithful, but then it’s like, what would make his other baby mama so horrible that she’d be dropped while she is pregnant. A man could support the woman he got pregnant through her pregnancy without needing to date her or fuck her: being celibate or not starting a new relationship is a way I think a man could respect the woman he’s gotten pregnant. I know this idea is way too uptight for most, but it’s how I feel.

Kim Kardashian, Kourtney Kardashian, Khloe Kardashian

I think that those videos are minor examples that Tristan Thompson is probably VERY open to women every time he is in a situation where he thinks no one is watching and that he can get away with it. If being faithful comes from a place of respect for the woman that you’re with and for yourself, then you won’t be sucked into motorboating a woman at a club. If someone is simply creating the APPEARANCE of being faithful because they (Tristan) want one public woman (Khloe) because he thinks she is superior to other women (because of beauty, wealth, kindness, intelligence, whatever it may be), then that guy (Tristan) ain’t go no real respect for women and if you’re with him, he’s going to end up burning you.

IT SUCKS TO DATE ATHLETES AND MEN WHO GET TONS OF ATTENTION. IT’S HARD STAYING A FAITHFUL IN NORMAL CIRCUMSTANCES, SO DATING A MAN WITH TONS OF WOMEN AFTER HIM IS SCARY AS FUCK. 

The hard part for me to understand (I never really have people openly hit on me so I don’t know what it’s like to have to reject non-stop advances from hot people) is where a guy who is an athlete or famous and/or rich in some other way gets so much attention from women that there is a non-stop flow of female attention coming their way. I have no idea what that actually feels like and how persuasive that would be. Some men probably only have to shut down someone aggressively hitting on them on a monthly or yearly basis, but it’s safe to say Tristan Thompson probably gets hit on many times a day.

But I think there are faithful men out there who get hit on a lot. I think that men who are able to stay faithful can do so because they choose to mentally disconnect from the sexual desire they feel for the person hitting on them (depending on how attractive they find the person hitting on them to be). Also, don’t take risks that make it harder to stay faithful: not getting too physically close to people one finds attractive or choosing to put the importance of the relationship one is committed to in the forefront of one’s minds).

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IF HE’S GOT A VIRGIN/WHORE COMPLEX, HE WILL FUCK YOU OVER WHETHER HE THINKS YOU’RE THE VIRGIN OR THE WHORE. 

Any man who believes that there are only SOME type of women worth treating well is going to end up treating the woman he loves the worst (in my opinion). It’s for each and every woman who is dating a man to figure out whether he respects women or not (for example if a guy thinks there’s such a thing as a difference between a good girl and a hoe and that each “type of woman” deserves to be treated differently (aka better or worse), well then, guess what? This guy’s gonna be an asshole because he doesn’t really think women are equal to men. If a man views a woman as his equal and partner he will not go doing her in a way he doesn’t want coming straight back to him. I wonder how Tristan would react and feel if he found out Khlo boned a dude while she was pregger with his kid? I don’t think this is the case, because I think Khloe seems like she’d be the ideal girlfriend who is very loyal and trustworthy, so I don’t think Tristan had anything to worry about. But now that he’s wronged her and their child, I’m curious about how she feels.

Why do cheaters seek out those who don’t cheat? Because cheaters have fragile egos and they could never handle receiving what they dish out (yes, I am bitter based on people I’ve dated in the past who were like this..can’t say they were cheaters since they were open about being with other women, and we weren’t in committed relationships. On my part, I was monogamous with them. I never did anything to make them feel I was interested in another man, because I wasn’t and that’s not who I am. They rubbed their other conquest in my face of course. Yet, I noticed these men freaked out at the smallest sign of feeling like I might find someone else attractive or not be entirely obsessed with them: HYPOCRITES!

All I know from being with liars and cheaters is that I suggest people who want to maintain their self-confidence STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM! Based on my experience with perpetual playboys who always need the attention of multiple women at any given time, the men I dated only seemed to feel loved when they realized their treatment of me hurt me deeply (which I would express through intense anger and name-calling, so yep, I’m fucked up too). If I was not in pain and freaking out about how much they were hurting me, then it seemed like they thought I didn’t care at all so they’d need to treat me bad again to see if I cared enough to react (and I did at the time). So this all part of a cycle between people in harmful relationships.

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Imaginary convo: “Oh, you thought I’d be cool with you public humiliating me with side chicks a few days before I pushed your baby out of my vagine? Boy, bye!”

Khloe does not open to settling with Tristan Thompson and continuing to date him and be his woman even though he did her this way. I’ve never got the impression any of the Kardashian-Jenner women are accepting of their men being unfaithful. That doesn’t mean warning signs weren’t overlooked on Khloe’s part, but she still didn’t deserve to be lied to and cheated on. No way, no how! I love Khloe and ultimately, people can’t live their lives guarded and always expecting the worst. Even though I have a tendency to think in worst-case-scenarios-ways I still dated assholes who treated me terribly. Still after those relationships and after hearing about Khloe and Tristan, I wonder what can be learned for next time. Celebrity gossip (especially when there’s proof like with the videos of Tristan cheating) can be productive and can help change our lives as viewers for the better (if we want them to).

EVERYBODY IS INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY, BUT FOCUS ON THE FACTS TOO.

Don’t ignore facts. Like, oh, he has another girl pregnant right now. Even if they’re not in a relationship it doesn’t really make a diff if she’s got a bun in the oven and the dude you wanna bone is the papa. If I was in this scenario, I hope that I’d ask myself, “would I want the dude who’s baby I’m having to be fucking other girls while I’m preggers?” No, I don’t think I would like that very much, and so I hope I wouldn’t take part in putting another pregnant woman through that pain, but attractions have made me and many people do crazy things and ignore all rationality in the past, so who am I to judge?

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Chyna: “What stroller?”

I’ve got another question on hand: Who gonna date this dude (soon Tristan won’t be Tristan, he’ll just be that dude Khloe had a baby with) next? The overlap with pregnant baby mama and starting new relationships/hooking up with others while baby mama pregnant has happened twice so far. Hopefully, Tristan can get help and change his patterns. I believe it is possible to stop destructive relationship patterns, but there has to be the desire to do so. Maybe Tristan just needs to find a girl who can live with his indiscretions and is open to a Sister Wives situation like Kody Brown’s wives are.

I hope Khloe is blocking out social media, other people’s opinions and is focusing on her baby. As I know from watching Keeping up with the Kardashians for such a long time, Khloe has wanted a baby for many years. I am happy she has a baby and I hope that she gets some peace soon and doesn’t feel too much pain and sadness! Khloe seems like a resilient person. But, as anyone who’s been deeply betrayed knows, it is hard to see past it when you’re in it. Even Beyonce doubted her self-worth when Jay-Z cheated on her. It’s natural to feel that way, but that doesn’t mean anybody needs to settle for someone who betrays them in the worst way possible.

Baths Interview

I fell in love with Baths album Obsidian back in 2013. It is dark and sad, yet also very danceable and catchy: a rare find in my opinion. Anyways, Baths (aka Will Wiesenfeld who originates from California) took the stage (in Nike running pants, which I found entertaining) at Fortune Sound Club last night.

The crowd was clearly really into his music and his set flew by (I can easily get bored at shows, but this was not the case at his show). Part way through the set he mentioned that he’s sick, but I never would have know since his voice was incredible, clear, and powerful.

If you’re feeling down and want to wallow in your sorrows while listening to some beautiful indie electronic music download some Baths asap!

 

 

 

 

LA Group Clipping Found Their Fellow Freaks

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Clipping (left to right): Jonathan Snipes, William Hutson, and Daveed Diggs

Clipping played the Biltmore tonight and their showed was packed to the brim. I must say they’ve got some seriously loyal fans and I understand why. Jonathan Snipe, William Hutson, and Daveed Diggs comprise Clipping and their music is a unique combination of quirky and surprising electronic noises, solid beats, and relentless rhymes. VanIsReal.com got a chance to speak with Clipping after their show, and it was a pleasure speaking with the guys! Give ’em a listen if you want to hear unpredictable hip-hop.

If you’ve ever felt like a freak or an outsider, what helped you through it?

“If you feel like a freak for long enough you’ll find the other freaks who also feel like you, then, you know, the norms get to be freaks and that’s friggin’ awesome…”

24HRS: Atlanta RAPPER EXTRAORDINAIRE

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24hrs (IG: @2fourhrs) and I (Christina/VanIsReal.com) after his show at Fortune Sound Club

What do you love about Vancouver?

I mean so far the weather was super cool, like the snow. It was like snowing, but it wasn’t too cold, so it was like super lit. And then, like, the people have really nice hospitality. It’s cool so far.

If you’ve ever felt like a freak or an outsider, what helped you through it?

The freak part? Like what type of freak? I’m just playing with you. Just following my dreams and people actually supporting what I do, like, and maybe at first people didn’t get it or understand it, but to see everyone scream my lyrics to my song, it looks like being the outsider or being different or being a freak or whatever it is helped me, and it paid off, so continue doing what you’re doing.

Here’s a link to his soundcloud: 24hrs soundcloud.

Background story from my perspective: I almost never go to live shows even though I often go out dancing to DJs, because it’s always a risk…you never know what you’re going to get. Another requirement for me if I’m going to see a live show is that I wanna hear music that lets me release some of my aggression and energy, so I gravitate towards rap shows since artists in this genre most often give me what I need out of a live show.

Anyways, I work super close to Fortune Sound Club and tonight while at work I thought I should take a look and see what was going on at Fortune tonight (Saturday, February 4th). I found out that an Atlanta rapper called 24hrs was doing a show.

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24hrs Open EP: No throwaway songs…he’s oozing talent.

Before tonight, I hadn’t heard of him and I didn’t listen to a second of his music before purchasing a ticket for myself and my boyfriend. I took a risk in spending $50 plus dollars on an artist I’d never heard (though during his show I realized I already did know some of his songs, I just didn’t know he was the artist performing them), and it was SO WORTH IT.

My job can be stressful at times and tonight my coworker and I were on the receiving end of intense anger coming from tenants of the building we work at, so I needed something to make me feel good after work. I felt reinvigorated after this show and I was on cloud nine after 24hrs let me interview him!

24hrs is such a present, confident, and fun artist. He owned the stage all the way. His music sounded so beautiful, tight, and powerful live and I am now a huge fan of 24hrs! I am always on the lookout for motivational, intense songs to add to my workout playlist, and I’ll be adding 24hrs EP Open tomorrow.

Thank 24hrs…I’m so happy to have some new special music to listen to.

Alfred Drinking Coffee and Chatting with VanIsReal

Alfred Zagloul loves coffee. This simple premise was used as the inspiration for his incredibly popular account (Alfred started his Instagram on September 1st, 2016 and he’s already up to 2397 followers as of January 17th, 2017) and it’s worked out swimmingly.

Even if you don’t love coffee (I’ve been off it for 2 weeks, but I’m sure my addiction will rear it’s ugly head again soon enough), I think his account is worth following if you use IG because his expression makes me laugh and without Alfred using any words it’s like he’s letting people know, “I feel ya”. Life ain’t always easy, but the best thing we can do is laugh at ourselves, and that’s why @alfreddrinkingcoffee is such an impactful account!

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Alfred at Revolver on Cambie.

It was my first time at Revolver and the music was my favourite part of the coffee shop: old school U2 and the War on Drugs were playing while we were there.

In addition to how amazing he is on IG, Alfred was kind, interesting, and easy to talk to in real life, so I give this “Accountant by day/Coffee Drinker also by day” (the tagline on Alfred’s IG) two thumbs up!

What do you love about Vancouver?

“Obviously, the biggest thing for me is the coffee culture in general. So, I love how everywhere you go in Vancouver, 90% of the people love coffee. Every shop that you go to has a different vibe, has a different flavour, so you get a real taste, a huge variation of tastes and flavours around Vancouver, which is really rare to see in some cities, so I love that about Vancouver.”

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If you’ve ever felt like a freak or an outsider, what helped you through it?

“Ok, so I had to really think about this. So, there’s been a couple times where I just felt like an outsider here and there, and I, honestly, the reason why I love coffee so much is because of the coffee shops themselves. So I’d go to a coffee shop, sit down and you feel like you’re a part of a group, even though you’re not really. You can just sit there and enjoy, hear some random conversations, hear what is going on around you and just enjoy the atmosphere of a good coffee shop. Usually, that’s my go-to if I ever do feel like an outsider or anything like that.”

Where did you come up with the idea for your Instagram?

“Honestly, a lot of my co-workers noticed that I’m obsessed with coffee before we did this. And they’re like, “Alfred you need to have an account.” So, we started pitching ideas and thinking about what we should do, and next thing I know here I am with colourful shirts, staring deadpan into the camera, and drinking coffee. Thought the most simple idea was the best way to go, so that’s where the idea came from basically.”

Paul’s Not Afraid Of Getting On His Soapbox

Some friends took my boyfriend and I to a weekly event (once a month on a Saturday night) at a closed coffee shop on Commerical Drive called SOAPBOX. The premise is that you go up and take the microphone (there is no actual stage though) at the front and talk about whatever issue or topic you want to (I was told there is usually a theme each night…I’m not sure what the theme was last night, but unsurprisingly most of the debate centred around Black Lives Matter for good reason).

Anyways, I really enjoyed it, because I don’t feel comfortable getting into arguments on Facebook. I love arguing with people though (I am still very proud–and inclined to show off at any time I can work it into a conversation–of getting 99% in grade 12 philosophy), so I enjoy being able to discuss my viewpoints with people face to face. I think it leaves less room for unnecessary misinterpretation, and it requires a certain level of accountability, since you’re not “hiding behind a screen” as they say…even though your name is attached to your comment on Facebook…Soapbox felt more personal to me in a good way. Yes, I am veering into that annoying real life is so much better than social media cliched argument that I hate, so I apologize for that.

Paul stood out because he shared some insightful points and he was really funny too. His style is very fun and very rock!

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