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I’m Probably Naive For Saying This, But I’d Be a Bit Sad if Travis Cheated on Kylie

1) I’m a huge fan of Travis Scott’s music so I don’t want him to be a philandering asshole, but since I am such a fan of his music and not against the messages in his music I’ll still remain a fan even if he’s a cheater…I’ll just like him a little less.

2) I love Kylie Jenner and I feel for her. Yes, I think her life is waaaaaaayyyyyyyy easier than so many people. She is not starving and she isn’t living in a war torn country, BUT I think that the family she’s grown up with would have undoubtedly put alot of pressure on her to get as sexy and beautiful as quickly as possible. No, I don’t think Kris Jenner or anyone else would have ever directly told Kylie “get hot and beautiful asap” as a child, but clearly the family makes money off of how hot and beautiful they are. So it’s easy to imagine Kylie feeling affected by what her family promotes to make money.  The family’s hotness is also why I’m in interested in the Kardashian/Jenner’s, so I’m a part of the problem/it’s not all the KarJenner’s fault. Nevertheless, Kylie is only 21 and I think that she has to feel some sort of intense psychological pressure to try to look good all the time/maintain her brand and perform as well as her female siblings. That would be hard on one’s mental health in my opinion.

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3) Before the whole Jordyn Woods/Tristan Thompson hook-up supposedly went down, I wondered whether Travis and Jordyn had ever hooked-up. At that point, I thought it was a crazy idea, but then at the same time, I was asking myself, “Why do I really think it’s that crazy?” Jordyn is a gorgeous girl. Just as gorgeous as Kylie. Travis is a young man, and even people with the best of intentions often fail. Beauty is tempting! I read Jordyn as someone who would probably be loyal to Kylie to the core, so the Tristan Thompson scandal has been surprising. Yet, it’s not the end of the world. I get it if Khloe, Kylie and the others in the KarJenner family don’t want to hang out with Jordyn anymore, but the rest of society needs to take a moment, breath, and let Jordyn off the hook. If Jordyn got with Tristan it would mean that both Tristan and Jordyn were acting shady…BUT  Tristan much more so than Jordyn, since he’s the one that owes his loyalty to Khloe (if they’re in a monogamous relationship) and since he has a baby with Khloe. I do need to point out that, from what I recall, Tristan started dating Khloe when his ex had either just given birth or was pregnant with Tristan’s son Prince. Tristan’s love ’em and leave ’em pattern was established prior to Khloe.

Even if 21 year-old Jordyn hooked up with Tristan, it doesn’t mean she’s evil or a homewrecker! The person in the relationship who cheats is the homewrecker in my opinion, not the person outside of it. Jordyn might have made a mistake, but it doesn’t mean she should have to hide inside away from the prying eyes of the public for the next 10 years. A lot of us have made mistakes like Jordyn, so I foresee this helping her career IN THE LONG RUN, not necessarily right away. Maybe some haven’t done anything like what Jordyn apparently did, but then I think the mistake people make is judging “the other woman” or man way more harshly than they deserve to be judged.

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4) Point blank: it would be excruciatingly painful to be cheated on by someone you have a young child with. I’ve been with guys who I’m monogamous with and obsessed with and they would have sex with others and rub it in my face, but we weren’t in a relationship and I most definitely didn’t have a kid with them…and it still hurt me so bad and in one situation contributed to a mental breakdown! If Kylie did just get cheated on that is so mean and insensitive of Travis. Hopefully, he’ll give Kylie space if he cheated instead of stringing her along. If Travis isn’t faithful and wants to hook up with lots of girls that’s totally ok. What’s not ok is lying to the person you supposedly love. People who do that make a leap from being honest about carnal desires to being downright douchebags.

Anyways, since we don’t actually know what’s going on behind closed doors (and we’ll never know the full story but it seems right now we don’t even have confirmation of part of the story) there is no point in assuming anything about Travis Scott, Kylie Jenner, Jordyn Woods, Tristan Thompson or Khloe Kardashian.

For all those people who’d say, “why do you care about these people’s lives anyways?” I’d say because you get attached to people whether you’re watching them in the public eye or know them in real life…and also because most of us can relate to being played by shady people and being shady ourselves. Nobody’s perfect, but all of us have felt the pain of betrayal and so it is interesting to see how someone like Kylie, who I do care about, will deal with this alleged cheating situation, especially since she is also raising her young daughter, Stormi, with Travis. Travis and Kylie’s lives are intertwined in a permanent way because they share a child.

One thing this reminds me of is that personal relationships aren’t ever easy!

Pete Davidson and Kate Beckinsale: Never Know What’s Coming Next

Baths Interview

I fell in love with Baths album Obsidian back in 2013. It is dark and sad, yet also very danceable and catchy: a rare find in my opinion. Anyways, Baths (aka Will Wiesenfeld who originates from California) took the stage (in Nike running pants, which I found entertaining) at Fortune Sound Club last night.

The crowd was clearly really into his music and his set flew by (I can easily get bored at shows, but this was not the case at his show). Part way through the set he mentioned that he’s sick, but I never would have know since his voice was incredible, clear, and powerful.

If you’re feeling down and want to wallow in your sorrows while listening to some beautiful indie electronic music download some Baths asap!

 

 

 

 

LA Group Clipping Found Their Fellow Freaks

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Clipping (left to right): Jonathan Snipes, William Hutson, and Daveed Diggs

Clipping played the Biltmore tonight and their showed was packed to the brim. I must say they’ve got some seriously loyal fans and I understand why. Jonathan Snipe, William Hutson, and Daveed Diggs comprise Clipping and their music is a unique combination of quirky and surprising electronic noises, solid beats, and relentless rhymes. VanIsReal.com got a chance to speak with Clipping after their show, and it was a pleasure speaking with the guys! Give ’em a listen if you want to hear unpredictable hip-hop.

If you’ve ever felt like a freak or an outsider, what helped you through it?

“If you feel like a freak for long enough you’ll find the other freaks who also feel like you, then, you know, the norms get to be freaks and that’s friggin’ awesome…”

Alfred Drinking Coffee and Chatting with VanIsReal

Alfred Zagloul loves coffee. This simple premise was used as the inspiration for his incredibly popular account (Alfred started his Instagram on September 1st, 2016 and he’s already up to 2397 followers as of January 17th, 2017) and it’s worked out swimmingly.

Even if you don’t love coffee (I’ve been off it for 2 weeks, but I’m sure my addiction will rear it’s ugly head again soon enough), I think his account is worth following if you use IG because his expression makes me laugh and without Alfred using any words it’s like he’s letting people know, “I feel ya”. Life ain’t always easy, but the best thing we can do is laugh at ourselves, and that’s why @alfreddrinkingcoffee is such an impactful account!

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Alfred at Revolver on Cambie.

It was my first time at Revolver and the music was my favourite part of the coffee shop: old school U2 and the War on Drugs were playing while we were there.

In addition to how amazing he is on IG, Alfred was kind, interesting, and easy to talk to in real life, so I give this “Accountant by day/Coffee Drinker also by day” (the tagline on Alfred’s IG) two thumbs up!

What do you love about Vancouver?

“Obviously, the biggest thing for me is the coffee culture in general. So, I love how everywhere you go in Vancouver, 90% of the people love coffee. Every shop that you go to has a different vibe, has a different flavour, so you get a real taste, a huge variation of tastes and flavours around Vancouver, which is really rare to see in some cities, so I love that about Vancouver.”

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If you’ve ever felt like a freak or an outsider, what helped you through it?

“Ok, so I had to really think about this. So, there’s been a couple times where I just felt like an outsider here and there, and I, honestly, the reason why I love coffee so much is because of the coffee shops themselves. So I’d go to a coffee shop, sit down and you feel like you’re a part of a group, even though you’re not really. You can just sit there and enjoy, hear some random conversations, hear what is going on around you and just enjoy the atmosphere of a good coffee shop. Usually, that’s my go-to if I ever do feel like an outsider or anything like that.”

Where did you come up with the idea for your Instagram?

“Honestly, a lot of my co-workers noticed that I’m obsessed with coffee before we did this. And they’re like, “Alfred you need to have an account.” So, we started pitching ideas and thinking about what we should do, and next thing I know here I am with colourful shirts, staring deadpan into the camera, and drinking coffee. Thought the most simple idea was the best way to go, so that’s where the idea came from basically.”

Kevin’s Key to Being an Outsider: Own It!

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Kevin Wolfhard (@kwolfhard) knows what’s up!

If you’ve ever felt like a freak or an outsider, what helped you through it?

“Always…and essentially, I mean it took me quite a lot of time to sort of figure this out, but if you don’t own being a dork, being a weirdo, being a misfit, being an outsider…it’s, you can’t live life like that.

So if you just own it, it’s the best thing in the world. It’s who you are, right? This is why I dance at the Fox. It’s the ultimate expression of who I am as a person.”

I was feeling super crappy today (damn you PMS and a lack of sunlight), so I am so thankful to Kevin for his unbelievably wise words, because they boosted me up and reminded me of what’s important in life.

Owning who you are (which I find challenging to do all the time, but it feels so good when I do own who I am) is the best way to cope with feeling like a freak!

If you want to look at some gorgeous photos, please follow Kevin on Instagram: @kwolfhard. 

Socially Awkward and Sober

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It’s been close to 8 years since I’ve drank alcohol. I’m an alcoholic and as such I choose to abstain from alcohol because, for a variety of reasons, I was never able to “handle my alcohol” and often ended up making a fool of myself while in a blackout state.

I don’t want to drink again. I don’t like the taste of alcohol, so I don’t miss alcohol. I think I abused it in part because of how damn socially awkward I am, not because wine is delicious or anything like that.

As a kid I was really confident, outgoing, and never thought twice about what I was going to say or do. For most of elementary school I was popular, but as puberty hit my confidence plummeted. I had a strict mother, so flirting or dating boys was something I was taught not to do, and that affected my social status. By grade 7 how sexy a girl was started to become what the boys were interested in, and so since I didn’t look or act sexy my social stock was weak and I felt like a loser.

Anyways, by the time I hit high school I was full on uncool. I remain that way to this day. I didn’t have my first kiss until I was 18 years old. Due to my negative relationship with alcohol via how I saw it affect my father (he went to rehab multiple times during my childhood and struggled to stay sober) I took the perspective that I would never drink. Then one day when I was 19 my impulsive brain changed its mind and I decided I wanted to drink.

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I thought I’d throw this in because I love this pic of myself.

The first night I drank I got totally out of control, which lead to my house getting trashed during a party, and the cops getting called. My mother and sister hated me when they came home from Toronto the next morning to find their home in quite a different state than they’d left it the day before.

I could only remember bits and pieces of my first night drinking and that night was definitely an indication of how almost all of my future drinking experiences would unfold.

The thing is I have a lot inside of me that I’d like to let free. For example, by dancing like a ma-ni-ac. But since I was uncool and didn’t feel confident, I was incapable during my early 20s of letting myself go wild while sober (for the most part I’m still incapable of doing this in front of anyone who isn’t a close friend or my boyfriend). Also, since I viewed most other people as more attractive than myself, anytime I was in a party or social environment with any people who weren’t close friends I immediately started drinking copious amounts to try to help myself relax and feel more comfortable around the people I was intimidated by.

Then I’d act a fool and feel very ashamed the next day. Then I’d feel even more self-conscious and nervous the next time I entered a social environment, especially if the same people I’d been blackout drunk of in front of before were there, so the cycle would continue and the need to use alcohol as a social lubricant, or more appropriately social flood, carried on.

Eventually, I reached my breaking point and was able to admit to myself that I was an alcoholic and the only way to ensure that I didn’t get super drunk ever again was by stopping drinking entirely.

The plan worked because I haven’t had another drink of alcohol since I quit at age 24. I still continued to have an addiction to marijuana that only came to an end 2 years ago, so it’s not to say I  abstained from drugs after I quit drinking, but I didn’t have a substance to rely on that took away from my self-consciousness and stopped my incessant stressed-out internal dialogue like I did with alcohol.

I think I thought that the longer I was sober I would suddenly become relaxed and totally at ease when going to a party or meeting new people.

But that hasn’t been the case. I still feel minor levels of panic when entering a party or entering situations where I don’t know the people. It might not seem like that on the surface because my approach is to push on through and be openly friendly and enthusiastic, but I’m usually feeling a lot of fear at the same time.

One thing I was able to overcome 2 years ago was my fear of dancing in public. Now I’m able to go out to clubs sober with other people or alone and dance my heart out.

It’s the social situations with groups of people that still really freak me out.

Part of this is because I am definitely not a “chilled out” person. I’ve got A LOT of energy, which is both a gift and a curse. What sucks is when I’m around people either at a new job or at a party and someone tells me to “chill out”, “relax”, “don’t be nervous”, “don’t let them see your fear” (this last one was told to me by a work supervisor before I started to teach a new, high-level class and it immediately caused my stress level to spike because it indicates that I am showing my fear and somehow need to make it immediately disappear–not possible). Also, before I was okay with dancing sober it used to make me so uncomfortable when I wouldn’t be dancing and the dancing king or queen who seems to have no fear of dancing in public (but I also noticed the only people who ever tried to force me to dance when I wasn’t up to it were drinking themselves…coincidence? I think not.) would point me out and try to get me to dance.

Ahhhh…I would wonder, “Can’t you see I’m incredibly self conscious? Everyone isn’t a social butterfly like you…please leave me alone so I don’t feel even more weird than I already do”. I don’t think anyone had bad intentions in these situations–they’re enjoying themselves and probably just want me to enjoy myself in the same way they are–but it only lead for me to feel even more like a sober loser who is way too uptight and not easygoing like everyone else.

My body language is rigid, and I know that. I never know what to do with my hands. For example, I took a counselling course at UBC this summer. We had to videotape ourselves with a “client” (another classmate) and practice being a “counsellor” and critique how we moved and spoke and then receive feedback from the instructor about the same things. One of the first things my instructor focused in on during my first critique (thankfully I was able to greatly improve and “lean in” more by the last assignment) was how my body language was awkward and closed-off. I wasn’t surprised. I know that this is the way I appear to others and it was a minor consolation to have my instructor confirm this, because at least it shows my perception is not all in my head.

The point I’ve reached now though is I’m no longer entering situations like this and constantly repeating “relax” over and over to try to seem calm. I am hyper. I do have an excess of energy that doesn’t always flow out of me in a perfectly dispersed way. My body isn’t free-flowing and that’s OKAY.

I’m sober and I’m a socially awkward geek. I am who I am and I’m happy to have reached the point where I’m no longer trying to be something I’m not. Oh, and when it comes to the supposedly chilled-out people who have told me to slow my roll, are they really all that chill themselves if they’re telling someone else how they need to behave when I was just doing my own thing?

Peace!